Rick’s Guide to Everything

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Old Queens and Jesus

I went to a birthday party for a friend of mine this past Saturday. He’s one of those vain queens that are so worried about getting wrinkles. Pity. He’s somewhere in his 40’s and looks it. Yep, yep he does. But still he prisses around trying to convince people he’s still in his 20’s. He dresses way too young and though he’s tried everything to hide his real age.

I knew something was up when I went to his house once and in the hallway there was his birth certificate hanging on the wall and there was an ink blot over the date. That should have been my first clue. That and the fact that it was written in Latin. And was written on goatskin.

I told him he should just tell everyone he was 56. I thought he was going to have a stroke, until I told him that they would all protest and be shocked. Then he could look at them all and say truthfully, “Yeah and I look damn good don’t I”

Sunday was a little different. I went over to visit my favorite Aunt and take her to lunch. Now I love the woman but sometimes she gives me the creeps. When you walk into her house the first thing you see are pictures of Jesus all over the place. On the walls, on the counters, hanging from the ceiling etc. Now I don’t really have a problem with that, it’s just that hers are autographed.

Talk to you in a couple of days.


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